My Little Roast Beast Carver

“God, I really need to be eating more beef.”

This is the first thing my wife thought to herself while waking up yesterday.

At seven o’clock.

In the morning.

My mind drifts to little Cindy Lou Who in the Grinch story. That scene would’ve played out differently had Charlotte played the role. Physical appearance isn’t much of a stretch. But I imagine the dream cloud above her head would’ve held up a sizzling steak in lieu of sweet sugarplums. The candy cane pushed through her little fists would likely be the night’s unfinished portion of saucisson (dried sausage), and good luck releasing that clench. When she finally awoke, instead of asking for a glass of water she’d…well actually she does drink water regularly, so no change there.

But rest assured she’d never let that last can of Who Hash leave the kitchen without a hell of a fight.

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